Wednesday, November 11, 2009

That's just a load of bleep.

I consider 2007 to be the year Youtube Poop really took off. Deepercutt and WalrusGuy were growing in popularity. What is Spaghetti? passed the 100,000 view mark. Poop was growing from a cult passion to a full-fledged genre. It was easy to get hooked into watching it because of how unique it was compared to everything else on YouTube.

It was just as easy to make a Youtube Poop as well, even before the advent of Mediaconverter. All you had to do was visit a French-Canadian video game website and download cutscenes from a crappy game from a shitty console you've never heard of. From there, the sky was the limit. Simply pull up your Windows Movie Maker and do whatever the hell you wanted.

This was back when the common misconception was that Poop was supposed to be funny. (And that notion still exists to this day.) The imagination span was limited. Everyone did the same thing and made trite unoriginal stories, involving the words "dinner," "come," "die," and the ever so popular "spaghetti."

But that wasn't enough for some. They needed something else, something that would make their Poop stand out from all the rest. Something that made them look professional and enhance the humor of their video. A censor bleep.

Censor bleeps weren't uncommon in traditional 2007 Poops. Deepercutt and WalrusGuy used them, and they brought out a lot of laughs. Even the greatest Poop ever made used a censor bleep. (I am of course talking about Mama Luigi is a Nuclear Weapon.) They were easily accessible; you just had to google the term and you'd get hundreds of sites offering downloads. At the time it seemed like a harmless tool.

I'm going to be openly honest: I never liked the censor bleep. Its effect wore out too fast on me. I can't recall any occasion that I laughed at a censor bleep in a Poop. It was more of a flaw than a blessing to me. It was too easy to use and too easy too access. It accentuated the notion that "Poop was supposed to be funny" in that it inspired a glut of what I refer to as Stock Shit, the lowest form of Poop that uses stale ideas and techniques. Now I don't use that term often. Stock Shit is reserved for the late-2007 era videos, though there are a few unfortunates that fall through the cracks. Thankfully most modern day Poops display some form of effort that elevates them well above this level.
Often times the words that were bleeped could have easily been spliced to say the word suggested by the editor. For example, at the end of He Touched Me Innapropriately, the female hedgehog says, "I only eat sh--" (the hyphens signify what was censored). Obviously FlameStormStudios was aiming for the word "shit." But really, how hard is it to find an "it" sound and plug it into the end? He had the entire episode at his disposal, and he chose to use the bleep. Now compare that to Mei's Robotnik Farts, a Poop made in the same year, where the word "shit" was spliced easily. This difference points out who is the better Pooper.
Experienced Poopers have tabooed the use of bleeps. They see the bleep for what it really is and choose instead to create the words themselves, which demonstrates an honest effort. The only one I can think of who used it on a daily basis was WalrusGuy. And he didn't use it because he thought everyone liked it, he used it because he liked it. I don't see his usage as an act of laziness since he was obviously capable of splicing the full words himself. But would he still use it if he continued his Pooping career to this day? I don't know.

Are there any modern day Poops where the censor bleep has worked? Yes, as a matter of fact, and they've both appeared in the Top Ten. KroboProductions created his own bleep in The Old Fashioned Way to Get Rid of Steve: a mouth-flapping stutter, which was both highly original and funny. So far no one has attempted to follow this example, but I believe it's best no one actually does. This is KroboProductions' joke and it shouldn't be whored out. The second example appeared in October's Top Ten: Norm Augustinus Teaches Remedial Sex Education by mYZterbattyX. That was the only time I laughed out loud at a censor bleep. But it wasn't the bleep itself that was funny, it was the setup. Norm is insulting us, thanks to some highly calibrated sentence mixing, and just as he is about to land the final blow we get it. (Arguably it wasn't a censor bleep but a color bar substitute.) Right after that comes the ear rape and complete annihilation of the video. That's a one-of-a-kind moment.
However, it's clear that the day of the censor bleep has come and gone. And it should stay gone. Bleeps are not funny and they never were funny. A Pooper who uses it leaves a mark on himself and his video. We should continue to press for sentence mixing as opposed to cheap substitutes. If you encounter someone using it, let them know it is an old joke but don't berate them about. After all, everyone has done something wrong without knowing it at some point. It should be the responsibility of the Pooper to educate the oncoming generations about the benefits of word splicing and sentence mixing in place of the bleep. They advocate this with their videos, and they should do so as well with their advice.
I don't see the future of Youtube Poop in a bleak way. I have been surprised by so many videos coming from the new generation, and I eagerly await whatever lies ahead of me. Remember to influence and defend the new, for they might possibly become the next big thing.

Monday, November 2, 2009

I Have No Life

I recently made an announcement video saying that my monthly top tens would be posted at the end of the month rather than on the 29th.  I gave my reasoning: the end of the month is a more reasonable date.  Simple as that.  In fact, why did I even bother posting them on the 29th to start with?  To compete with long-since-deceased top ten maker pimpsahoy15?  No.  Rather, it was to continue the tradition he started.  It has been that way since I started and only now do I ask myself, after almost a year making them, shouldn't a monthly top ten be held at the end of a month?

My assumption was that everyone wanted to see these top tens on the 29th because that's how pimps did them.  If I put them at the end of them month, it just wouldn't be the same.  Granted, pimps was awful at making them, but he started a tradition that hundreds of his subscribers anxiously waited for.  I'm pretty sure those who hated him awaited them too.  (It was a cardinal sin that he left out anything made by MTB710.  I couldn't wait to get angry over this and comment saying he left out all the good Poopers.  I wonder when it was I started thinking, "I should be the one doing this...")

Do I ever wonder why I even make these things?  Yes!  Gosh darn absolutely mother fudgling yes!  It is a pain in the ass to have to sit through a hundred videos every day made by hopeful top ten wannabees who think they have what it takes to be the next WalrusGuy.  Most of the time it's the same 30-second tennis round with nothing going for it except flashy effects and ear rape that I swear I've seen before in another video.  Occasionally someone sends me an MS Paint Poop with "PINGAS," Weegee, and something about the King blowing up his dinner.  Yeah, it sucks.  I watch the same old crap every day and I don't even get paid for it.

Why I doing this then?  Because every time I type "youtube poop" in the search bar and see Ash's Retarted Adventure at the top, I think, "These people are missing out."  Every day that video gets another something-thousand views while the potential best Poops of the month sit in the database garnering digital dust.  I believe it's my job to expose them.  I believe it's my job to sort through all that crap and find those diamonds in the rough.  If I don't, who will?  The greatest Poopers to have ever walked the face of the Internet will be long forgotten unless I shed the light on them.  Soon my top tens will reach the front page and people will gasp in awe at these amazing works, and start to question themselves about why they thought Ash's Retarted Adventure was the greatest thing ever.

It's a dream.  A stupid, pointless, ridiculous dream.  But it's something I feel needs to be done.  And the fact that pimpsahoy stopped making his top tens (and I believe I am the reason he stopped) doesn't make it easier.  Yes, his top tens were awful and inconsistent, but at least they got people into watching the underrated Poopers.  We'd have made great rivals, him continuing his monthly shit and me dishing out the bigger shit.  At least then my videos would get more views.

If, by the time Youtube Poop becomes international, FOX 29 does a news report about it and features anything by Yootubepoop, I know I have failed my mission.  But until then, I'll continue to make these top tens and hope at some point they make it to the front page.  I'm not doing this for myself.  If I was, these videos would be on my real account.  This is for the guys who work their asses off and only manage to garner 500 views.  I'm doing this for the hard-working artists who have been buried up to their necks in mainstream shit and can't reach out.  I'm going to make them famous, and I want no thanks for it.

-article by KevinTAckerman