I Have No Life

I recently made an announcement video saying that my monthly top tens would be posted at the end of the month rather than on the 29th.  I gave my reasoning: the end of the month is a more reasonable date.  Simple as that.  In fact, why did I even bother posting them on the 29th to start with?  To compete with long-since-deceased top ten maker pimpsahoy15?  No.  Rather, it was to continue the tradition he started.  It has been that way since I started and only now do I ask myself, after almost a year making them, shouldn't a monthly top ten be held at the end of a month?

My assumption was that everyone wanted to see these top tens on the 29th because that's how pimps did them.  If I put them at the end of them month, it just wouldn't be the same.  Granted, pimps was awful at making them, but he started a tradition that hundreds of his subscribers anxiously waited for.  I'm pretty sure those who hated him awaited them too.  (It was a cardinal sin that he left out anything made by MTB710.  I couldn't wait to get angry over this and comment saying he left out all the good Poopers.  I wonder when it was I started thinking, "I should be the one doing this...")

Do I ever wonder why I even make these things?  Yes!  Gosh darn absolutely mother fudgling yes!  It is a pain in the ass to have to sit through a hundred videos every day made by hopeful top ten wannabees who think they have what it takes to be the next WalrusGuy.  Most of the time it's the same 30-second tennis round with nothing going for it except flashy effects and ear rape that I swear I've seen before in another video.  Occasionally someone sends me an MS Paint Poop with "PINGAS," Weegee, and something about the King blowing up his dinner.  Yeah, it sucks.  I watch the same old crap every day and I don't even get paid for it.

Why I doing this then?  Because every time I type "youtube poop" in the search bar and see Ash's Retarted Adventure at the top, I think, "These people are missing out."  Every day that video gets another something-thousand views while the potential best Poops of the month sit in the database garnering digital dust.  I believe it's my job to expose them.  I believe it's my job to sort through all that crap and find those diamonds in the rough.  If I don't, who will?  The greatest Poopers to have ever walked the face of the Internet will be long forgotten unless I shed the light on them.  Soon my top tens will reach the front page and people will gasp in awe at these amazing works, and start to question themselves about why they thought Ash's Retarted Adventure was the greatest thing ever.

It's a dream.  A stupid, pointless, ridiculous dream.  But it's something I feel needs to be done.  And the fact that pimpsahoy stopped making his top tens (and I believe I am the reason he stopped) doesn't make it easier.  Yes, his top tens were awful and inconsistent, but at least they got people into watching the underrated Poopers.  We'd have made great rivals, him continuing his monthly shit and me dishing out the bigger shit.  At least then my videos would get more views.

If, by the time Youtube Poop becomes international, FOX 29 does a news report about it and features anything by Yootubepoop, I know I have failed my mission.  But until then, I'll continue to make these top tens and hope at some point they make it to the front page.  I'm not doing this for myself.  If I was, these videos would be on my real account.  This is for the guys who work their asses off and only manage to garner 500 views.  I'm doing this for the hard-working artists who have been buried up to their necks in mainstream shit and can't reach out.  I'm going to make them famous, and I want no thanks for it.

-article by KevinTAckerman